it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
