I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
