Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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