So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
