you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
