Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Randomize
