He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
