She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I just googled if crying burns calories
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
