I'm jealous of your bromance
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
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