well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
