Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Randomize
