I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
