I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
