if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize