Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
