I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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