are you so shy because you have an std?
well most of my day revolves around power hour
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
