Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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