i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
