i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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