I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Randomize
