The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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