Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
