Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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