I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
