She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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