After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
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