i just wanna soil my oats bro
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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