They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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