Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
