Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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