is your mom at the bar?
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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