my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Actions speak louder than pants.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
