You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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