im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
My life is pants optional.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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