good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
