I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
