So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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