Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
