Duck Duck Cougar?
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
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