Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
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