Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
