I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
