We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
You have to summon your inner elephant
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
