I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
