If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Randomize
