She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
