just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
