the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize