Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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