I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
