You were right. It hurts to walk today.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
