why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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