Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
