have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
You took a bar mat shot.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
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