Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
