fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
