Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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