their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
