waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
