guys are not supposed to queef...right?
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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