Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
