You made me cry and you don't even care
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Randomize
