its not stalking. its research.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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