just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
