ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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