Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
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