used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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