Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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