I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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