so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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