Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
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