how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
