Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
