I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
