Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
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